Interpreter of Maladies
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
My 2 words on rejectionWell. I thought I will write this sooner or later. But wanted to come out of the hangover first. Rejection is a nasty thing. More so when you have been ultra sure of yourself and it hits you right in the face. I have been a lucky individual. I have been able to get things without much murky ditches to cross. I thought it was a pattern and got comfortable. What happened this summer is enough to shake my high headedness at least. It is kind of a reality check though. I was afraid I would not be able to handle it and the reaction early on was that of breakdown. It seemed I was blaming myself and drowning in self guilt. For a day or two it seemed all eyes were fixated on me. Everyone was questioning me, asking me for reasons, explanations. I wanted to run away to people who know me the most. But then that would be cowardice and no, I did not want to be coward, not yet.
Looking back two weeks, it seems all happens for some purpose, some higher aim. Whatever happened to me was more because of myself so why was I blaming the world around me. I still have a happy life, friends who care, people to love, my parents to cherish. If not this, there will be better, bigger things in life. I should cross my fingers and attempt, not stall.
Its all in the mind.
I being great and you being nada...zilch
It is just a matter of you seeing me through rose colored glasses
and I seeing you through the gap between my fingers
Mere reflections we are..
I must let you get away from me
coz then and then alone I will realize my diminutiveness
and you will realize that you can touch the sky...
Its time I let myself go. I know not what I may do.
